Hollyoaks star Matthew James Bailey’s ‘entire world crumbled away’ as he breaks silence on Ethan axe

Hollyoaks star Matthew James Bailey has broken his silence in the wake of Ethan Williams’ on-screen death.

Ethan plummeted to his death during Monday’s (October 7) offering of the Channel 4 soap – on the very day he made his dreams come true in marrying one true love Sienna Blake (Anna Passey).

Metro confirmed earlier this year that the fan-favourite character would be written out, with star Matthew set to exit.

The news left fans devastated, though they hoped that the door would be left open for him to return one day. But following the latest episode, this seems unlikely as bosses have opted to kill Ethan off.

No, you’re crying.

Known for his devilish wit and irresistible charm, Ethan – played to perfection by powerhouse Matthew – became a proper staple of Hollyoaks over the past three years, with some truly iconic moments – not to mention his relationship with Sienna – cementing him as a modern day legend of the show.

The character’s journey, however, has now reached an end.

Following the shock outcome of the wedding, I caught up with Matthew for an exclusive chat to discuss his exit as he confirms that he was a casualty of the Hollyoaks cutbacks.

He also talks about what Hollyoaks has meant to him, his favourite moments and what the future holds for him in a post-Ethan world.

Hi Matthew. By the time this chat goes out, your time on Hollyoaks will have come to an end. How are you feeling and can you tell me how your exit came to be? 

I’m absolutely devastated to be leaving the show. I’ve made it clear that this is my home and I never thought it would end the way that it did. I feel like Ethan had a lot more potential and growth in him. I would openly say when I thought it was time for him to step away but, to be honest, I don’t think it was the right time. I don’t think we were finished. So no, it wasn’t my choice. I would never walk away from the show.

I’ve said in older interviews and I’m sure interviews with yourself that I could see Hollyoaks being home to me for a very, very long time. As long as the fans wanted me here and were enjoying what I did, I would always give absolutely everything to this show.

I will continue to support and champion the show because it’s always going to have a very special place in my heart but yeah, it wasn’t my choice to go.

With Ethan being a fan-favourite character, were you taken aback when you learned that he was not only going to be axed but also that he would be killed off?

I was surprised. I do understand that sacrifices need to be made – it’s unfortunately part of the job and if they thought that was the right decision then I can’t really argue with that.

I remember going into the meeting and seeing the expression change and just being gutted. You can tell what’s coming from the tone of someone’s voice and the sentence: ‘Unfortunately, we won’t be continuing with Ethan’ will stay with me for a while. Hearing those words was heartbreaking. I didn’t think it was his time to leave and I was really shocked by the decision.

You try and put a brave face on and think: ‘Thank you, I appreciate everything that you’ve given me,’ but when you walk out of that room it’s like your entire world just crumbles away.

You work so hard to live your dream and that’s what I was doing with the people around me and the support of the fans but it can all go away in a second. It was absolutely heartbreaking. I just wanted to go home and sit with myself to try and process what happened.

We didn’t know how the exit was going to go down at that point, it was originally planned a lot different. There were discussions about if they’d leave the door open, which I expressed my interest in them doing. I’d walk back to the show in a heartbeat. No actually, I wouldn’t walk back, I’d sprint back with open arms and a smile on my face.

But I did want the door left open and it was a few months after that when I was told the direction of the story and that he was unfortunately being killed off. I think that was the realisation for me that this journey could well and truly be over, which was gutting. I’m devastated by the whole thing.

The fans have really flocked to show their support of Ethan. What did that mean to you? 

I feel like the luckiest man in the world to have that support from the fans. It genuinely makes my heart so full. There have been times over the past few years where I’ve really struggled with my mental health and thinking if I really deserve to be here and wondering if I was doing a good job, but the fans are the people that always picked me back up. Seeing the reaction from them and knowing that I could help someone escape their reality for just a moment – even the briefest of moments – was the most rewarding thing.

The support means the absolute world. People always say: ‘Don’t read the comments!’ but I’m very fortunate that I could read those comments and see that they were full of joy, laughter and love for the character. That made me feel like I was doing a good job.

I’d be a liar if I said that when you first get into this game you’re not looking for money or fame or any other cliché, but the more you more mature the more you realise that you’re making someone’s day or putting a smile on someone’s face – And that’s the reason I want to do this, because I’ve been that person. Sometimes I still am that person – going home and feeling like a shell of yourself and just looking for an escape. If I’ve done that for just one person and brightened their day then I’ve done my job.

I know that 13-year-old boy that I was would want the same thing and I’m so lucky that I got to do it for people for so many years – I just wish it could have carried on!

We were treated to an unexpected Ethan and Sienna reunion with the time jump. Was it important for you that the two characters got back together, even if just for a little bit?  

It was the most important thing. Even now I still feel like there is so much unfinished business with Ethan and Sienna. The connection and chemistry that me and Anna [Passey] had – when you have it you know you have it and it feels like you’ve struck gold. It makes your job the easiest thing in the world working with your best mate and making magic that everyone loves and wants to support. I’m so glad the characters kind of did get a happy ending – in a way!

They did become husband and wife, they deserved that. After everything Ethan went through with Maya and with Dave, to finally marry the woman of his dreams – that’s all he wanted. Sienna was the one and he finally got to be with the love of his life. I am glad in a way but it’s just a shame it ended the way it did.

Fans had quite a strong reaction to the Vicky story. How did you feel about that? 

I can’t shy away from the fact that that was really difficult for me to get on board with and act out. I did express my feelings when it was first pitched to me. I did say that this was extremely out of character for Ethan. His entire personality was built around him being in love with Sienna. It did seem strange that he went for another girl.

I didn’t encourage that storyline and it got to the point where I was like: ‘If we’re going to do it then it’s going to need to be a crush for Vicky’. All props to Anya [Lawrence], she is a phenomenal actress.

But this just didn’t make sense for Ethan in any way. I tried to convey on screen that this is just a fling for him. But there were a few comments thrown in in that last episode – about how she was the best thing that happened to him – and that’s just completely out of character.

He’s said multiple times that Sienna is the woman for him and you see that via the outcome of him marrying her. But yes, this was a storyline that I pushed back on and you can see that the fans weren’t receptive to it at all.

Ethan owned The Loft with Sienna and Grace and then later with Sienna and Warren, but that was never mentioned again. Do you know why he was no longer in charge? 

Yeah, I really struggled with that. It was brushed over that Ethan actually had a share in that place. It felt like he went from this prominent character who owned The Loft to all of a sudden being a bartender. I remember saying to directors: ‘Why is he taking orders from people if he has a stake in the place?’ But I think it was brushed over for story, which is strange because there’s a storyline in that itself – how Ethan lost The Loft.

It’s touched on very briefly in the flashback scenes where it’s mentioned that he sold his shares but that’s it – that’s all that’s said about it. But I think that could have been explored a bit. I did try [to explore that more] but that was out of my control.

Will you keep watching to find out who pushed Ethan?

Of course! I can’t lie, I think it’s going to be difficult for me to watch now but at the end of the day this show has given me everything – I’m a fan just as much as anyone else. I hope I’ve done my best to champion that over the past three years. Of course I’ll keep watching – I love everyone on there. We are like a little family and I’ll continue to support it. It will always be my home, but I’ll be like part of the fandom now!

In terms of what was left for Ethan, what would you have liked to have seen more of? The arrival of Maya’s family, perhaps? Or more exploration of his relationship with Dave? 

This is the thing, even when the character did start to fade a bit into the background, it seemed like he was in a really prominent position and set up for a lot of storylines to come. There was so much left undone. Like you said, Maya’s family would inevitably be looking for their lost daughter and who was responsible for her death.

She was part of this huge crime family – someone like that doesn’t get killed for it to go unnoticed. So there was more of that thread but also Dave now being part of this underworld of crime – that was an avenue to explore.

There are also little easter eggs. If you go back and watch one of the first episodes when the Chen-Williams were introduced, I think Dave mentions something about buying a house for a niece or something, so that could only mean one thing. Ethan was his only brother so he may have a long-lost child!

I would have loved to have delved back into the darker side of Ethan a bit more – he’d lost everything last year with Sienna going off with Rafe. That would have turned him back to a life of crime.

I would have liked to see him get involved more with Warren because they always had this uneasy friendship –  very fragile. When they did team up, it made for a great watch! You also had a connection with Maxine, I would have loved to know how much more involved he got in Maxine’s life – hilariously, he is her uncle! [laughs]. Sharing the screen with Nikki [Sanderson, who plays Maxine] is such a privilege, she is fantastic.

I do feel like there was so much untapped potential, whether that be romance, comedy, action or crime. There was a lot unsaid. But then you never know with soap, I’m sure characters have died before and they’ve come back better than ever! [laughs].

I feel like there’s quite a lot of you in Ethan – and vice versa. How much of a hand did you have in forming the character?  

I was so lucky as [former Executive Producer] Lucy Allan let me have free rein with the character and she saw what I was trying to do with him. All I wanted to do with Ethan was make him as real, relatable and as human as possible. We’re not all these one-dimensional kidnappers and gangsters. I think a lot of my personality did come through [laughs].

There were some unscripted moments that went into the show – I did try and think how can I lighten this scene up a little or do something the fans will love. Sometimes it made it to screen and sometimes it did not.

There was a scene with me and Anna where I had to steal a passport for Dilly to get her out of the country, and that was completely different to what ended up on screen. I walked into Rafe’s manor with a boombox dancing up to Sienna [laughs]. For some reason, he did a magic trick as well which I absolutely adored because it just encapsulated Ethan as a character – he would never lose that child-like spirit that he had. But that was taken out and it became a lot more of a serious scene.

There were some great scenes over the years. That lovely scene with Starship and Ethan lipsyncing Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now – that was a little bit of a brainchild of mine. There was a scene with Honour and Dave at The Loft and I was speaking to Kieron [O’Sullivan] the producer – he’s phenomenal – who asked if I had any ideas on how to lighten up the scene.

I said: ‘I was brushing my teeth this morning and Starship came on and I started lipsyncing in the mirror! We could try that’ [laughs].  That was all really off the cuff and the director Tim [Hopewell] really let me go to town with it. But it got us this really lovely viral moment – and it stayed in, so it’s the perfect example of certain things staying in and certain things not.

There have been a few times when a director said: ‘Can you make that a little bit smaller?’ and I do rein it in [laughs]. But there really was a lot of me in that character and I adored playing him so much.

You mentioned that Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now scene. Ethan and Sienna recreated this last week ahead of the wedding. Was it nice to honour how iconic that moment became one last time?

Yes, props to the writers on that! I think it was important to get that in there, it was nice to recreate it but more in a nostalgic and romantic kind of way. Anna was like: ‘I think it would be great if I lipsynced the opening lyrics’ and I thought: ‘That’s perfect!’.

It was important to me to get elements of what made Ethan and Sienna a thing in the first place in there towards the end and this was a beautiful way of giving a little nod to that scene.

In addition to Starship, Ethan has had some great moments and stories over the years. Do you have a favourite one or is there something in particular that really stands out? 

One that really comes to mind is the clay pigeon shooting scene on the grounds of Rafe’s house [laughs]. I loved doing that in that stupid red suit in a flat clap where they shot Peaky Blinders! To wear a flatcap in that location is great – I felt fantastic. Indra Bhose, the director on that block, really let me loose on the comedy element.

There was a moment where one of the supporting artists was meant to be loading the gun and I said: ‘Mate if you don’t mind reaching out your hand to take that and I’m just going to slap it’ – me and him just cracked up [laughs]. And then Indra said: ‘I need you to walk behind Nick [Pickard] and Chris [Gordon] to create a little distraction’. I had no idea it was going to make it into the final shot. Me just making this stupid little noise and flinging myself to the ground. It worked, it stayed in and it was great – me getting to put my arms up like a little baby [laughs].

Sometimes the comedy can work or sometimes it’s OTT but I loved this whole block. I find a lot of inspiration from Ryan Reynolds or Schmidt from New Girl. I try and put in moments inspired by things that have made me crack up and bring them to life with Ethan. I adored this job so much for that, it really let me pave my way for what I want to do as an actor.

Ethan showing up as the literal knight in shining armour for Sienna during the playdate at Rafe’s springs to mind. 

Yes, exactly. I loved that. Credit to the writers for that. I got to have my actual knight in shining armour moment! [laughs]. I’ve ticked a lot of boxes, I got to be this romcom character, action character, a drug dealer, a wannabe hardman and this family man all in one. That’s the beauty of soap.

For some reason Ethan and Sienna love dressing up. There was this moment where we were like in a Shakespeare costume which is great but me and Anna always said that we’d like to see them dress up as hotdogs and I’m really gutted that never made it into the show [laughs].

Audiences particularly responded well to Ethan and Darren’s friendship, was that a special one for you too? 

So special for me. Ash [Taylor Dawson] has a very special place in my heart. He’s been an incredible mentor and an even better friend. That man welcomed me into the show with open arms and gave me so much profound advice on what to do and how to conduct yourself as a professional.

That friendship that you see on screen is very much reminiscent of the friendship we have in real-life, whether that be cracking jokes on set or going to him for older brotherly advice like: ‘What can I do in this situation? How can I handle it? How can I be better?’. He is an incredible human being and actor. I love that man.

I wish we had more scenes. There was a nice little scene where Ethan is talking to him about the wedding and Darren says he can’t come. I spoke to the director beforehand and asked if I could go a bit off script with this as I wanted to say a few words as Matthew to Ashley but projecting it in a way that Ethan would be saying it to Darren. I wrote it down and during that scene Ash actually teared up. It was genuine and sweet scene but it was cut, so I feel like we missed a really key moment of Ethan revisiting his and Darren’s friendship and what it meant to him.

I wish that had stayed in because it was really powerful, beautiful moment, and that is the last time you’re ever going to see Ethan and Darren onscreen and I thought that was really important. But the job is the job and unfortunately it didn’t make it – but that moment where I kiss him on the head and tell him I love him, that was a really genuine moment. I wish the fans could have seen the whole thing.

When Ethan debuted all those years ago and kidnapped Darren, could you have imagined then the journey the character would go on? 

That is the beauty of this job, you never know where it’s going to take you. Sometimes it can take you to these incredible highs of getting award nominations and so much positive feedback from the fans but then all of a sudden you come crashing back down to earth and being told your character is leaving. That is the beauty – being appreciative of what you’ve got at the time.

Ethan and Sienna was one of the most talked about soap couples in recent memory. Was it always the intention to bring the characters together or did that happen by accident?

To be honest, I think it did happen by accident! Anna is just phenomenal. She’s an icon – she’s a soap icon. In years to come, people will look back at the character of Sienna and think: ‘Wow, that woman is a legend and Anna is incredibly talented’. But not just as an actress, she is the most compassionate, loving human being I’ve ever met in life and I’m so grateful for her. I can’t speak highly of her enough.

The first scene I ever did with her, she turned up when Ethan had Maya’s body in the back of a van. And there was this moment where the two characters lock eyes – and you can see immediately that Ethan is enamoured with her. That kind of developed and evolved further in later episodes as we saw the way fans were reacting to this. It kind of snowballed from there and thus Ethenna was born. That is credit to the fans – it really, really is. Those fans can see things that I can’t see and that producers can’t see. Me and Anna based our performances on their feedback and that is how it all came to be! The fans are the real bosses – they know best for the show.

You and Anna worked so well together. How was it filming those heightened final scenes at the wedding, knowing this would be the last time you’d be working together as Ethan and Sienna?

There was a really gutting moment where Sienna finds Ethan’s body laid on the car. I’m laid there and she’s sobbing in my ear, telling me to wake up. After they yelled cut, Anna, bless her, turned around and spoke to Nikki – but she was still crying. I thought: ‘She’s had a long day, it must’ve been really difficult to convey that much emotion’. Credit to her as an actress, she is incredible. But then she told me that she couldn’t believe it was happening – she couldn’t believe that I was actually leaving.

I remember sitting in the transport on the way back to base with her and I just started crying myself, thinking: ‘I can’t believe this is how it’s ending’. It’s gutting.  It was a real sombre moment, I realised that I don’t get to wake up and go to work with her anymore – and have these nice little lunches together and talk about life. I’ll be friends with Anna for life, I’m sure of that.

It’s been quite some time since you found out about Ethan’s tragic fate so how are you doing now? Has it sunk in yet? 

It’s hard to process. It’s like grieving the loss of a loved one and I know that sounds stupid, but it really is. When you’ve put your heart and soul into this character for three years. It’s a real shame because I loved playing Ethan. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to play a character like that again in my life, with so much freedom. That is the beauty of soap, to be able to hit all these key moments. I would’ve played Ethan forever. There’s so much of myself in him.

But no, I don’t think I’m fully over it – and that’ll be something I’ll take with me for the rest of my career, wondering: ‘What if?’. It doesn’t feel like there was a solid end. It’s just: ‘And he dies’. That’s it.

It wasn’t finished. And it never will be finished to me so that’s really hard. I do sit and think about what more I could have done. I still write scripts in my head regarding what Ethan could’ve done – and could potentially still do. But if its ever on the cards for me to come back then I would!

What’s next for you? Is there anything in the pipeline that you can tell me?

Do you know what it feels like when you’re looking for another job? It feels like you’re cheating on someone! [laughs]. Especially when it was a job that you loved so much.

Right now, I’m actually in the States. I’m privileged that I’ve got dual nationality so I’m actually an American citizen as well as a UK citizen. There’s been some interest from a very particular soap out here so, all being well, you might see me back on your screens but with an American accent. It’s the multiverse of soaps! [laughs]. An American incarnation of Ethan?

My next question was actually going to be would you do another soap! 

I don’t know why there is such a stigma and taboo around soaps. It has been the greatest honour of my life. I don’t think people realise how diverse the genre is – you get to do everything you could possibly imagine. You are playing a character for life, which means you get to hit every single milestone with that character – and swap emotions like no other genre of media. I love it with all my heart – the immediate reaction that you get from the fans and the constant content that gets put out too. Of course, I would [do another soap]. In an absolute heartbeat, I would.

Ethan was such a loved character and fans are going to be devastated that he’s gone. What would you like to say to those who have supported him – and you – over the years? 

Thank you so much for being a guiding light in the dark for me. You don’t always hear much about [the actor’s] personal lives but this year in particular has been one of the hardest of my life. Whether it be love, family, my own mental health and my physical health, but the people around me – the cast and the fans – have been so influential to me and so important to me. I just love them so much.

What you have done for me is incredible and I will never ever forget that. Everything I do is for you – the people around me who are lifting me up constantly. You guys get me out of many terrible situations in life so I will be so endlessly grateful for your support, no matter what walk of life I am in.

I will remember these past three years for the rest of my life. You have set me on a path that I never, ever thought I could achieve. This has been a dream for me since I was a little boy so… thank you for the support, thank you for the love and thank you for just being you – and for letting me be me.

Hollyoaks streams Mondays to Wednesdays from 7am on Channel 4’s streaming platform, or catch episodes on TV at 7pm on E4.